Facing The Unknown: Not Knowing Feels Like the Hardest Part

As you may already know, this week marks the first step in my cancer treatment: my operation. Oddly enough, I’m not particularly anxious about the procedure itself (or at least I didn’t think I was). I’ve been put under anaesthesia before, and, truthfully, I didn’t mind it! What has been bubbling away in my mind is the recovery - the uncertain, unpredictable part.

How will my body respond? Will I be in pain? For how long?

The endless questions spiral in my head, none with definitive answers.

When people ask how I’m feeling about it, I’ve been saying, “I’m OK.” And I truly have felt OK.

But a couple of days ago, I noticed a subtle tingling in my fingers and found myself more teary than usual. That’s when it hit me: I was more in my head than I realised.

How Subtle Thoughts Impact Our Experience

Our thoughts can be so subtle that we don’t even notice them - I hadn’t. But our bodies are incredible communicators. The physical sensations I experienced - the tingling, the tears, the adrenaline coursing through me - were all signs that I was overstimulated.

I didn’t need to dissect every thought that brought me to this state; I just needed to recognise that I was feeling hypervigilant.

Why does noticing help? Because those physical symptoms became a beautiful invitation to pause and reconnect with the present moment.

Returning to What’s Real: The Present Moment

On Monday evening, during a call inside The Membership, someone asked me how I wasn’t automatically anxious and fearful after receiving my cancer diagnosis.

My response?

“My reality hadn’t changed. What changed was my perception of what my future reality might look like.”

Let me explain. The day I was diagnosed, I felt different. But was that because of the cancer itself? No. The cancer had been in my body for months, and it hadn’t affected how I felt until the moment I thought about it. We only ever feel our thoughts. Our reality is created through thought, moment by moment.

When I started to feel unease and adrenaline, it wasn’t because of the cancer. It was because I had taken myself out of the present moment, imagining outcomes I couldn’t possibly know or control. That realisation was my cue to return to now.

Trusting the Moment: Letting Go of the Need to Know

The sensations of unease and adrenaline were invitations for me to slow down, show up in the present moment, and trust myself to navigate life one step at a time. Trying to predict or control the future only creates unnecessary suffering. Instead, I’ve chosen to experience life as it unfolds, moment by moment.

This shift doesn’t mean I don’t feel fear or worry. It means I don’t let those feelings define my experience. I remind myself: I am going to be OK, regardless of what I face. How I experience life depends on whether I accept what is or resist it by attempting to control the unknown.

Finding Calm Amidst Uncertainty

As I approach my operation, I have no idea how I’ll feel afterward. But here’s what I do know: I will be OK, no matter what. My plan is simple: take it one small step at a time. Moment by moment.

If you’re navigating anxiety, overwhelm, or any challenges in your life, I invite you to explore The Three Principles that I share with my members. These principles have been transformative for me, offering a foundation of clarity, calm, and resilience no matter what life throws my way.

If you'd like to find out more about general Health Anxiety and hear more about how I'm using everything I know from The Three Principles, you can join me on Monday 6th January for a special live event with Lily Sais: Break Free From Health Anxiety - Click Here For More Information and To Register!