I used to be a liar

I did.

In the past, I used to have a habit of telling lies. Whenever I found myself in a situation where I didn't feel like participating socially, whether it was because I wasn't up for it, didn't want to do it, or felt overwhelmed, I would resort to making up excuses or fabricated reasons to get out of it.

I would constantly worry that the other person probably knew I was lying, and I would beat myself up over it, ultimately making myself feel even worse.

But now, I've come to realise that what other people think of me is none of my business.

We all have the right to put ourselves first.
We have the right to change our minds.
We have the right to not want to do things.
We have the right to decline invitations to socialise if we so choose.

So these days, I simply choose to be honest.

If I'm not up for something or if I don't feel like doing it, I'll just say no.

I rarely cancel plans now, and part of the reason for that is because I don't put unnecessary pressure on myself anymore. I know that I have the freedom to change my mind.

"Can I think about it?"

An approach I've adopted when someone asks me to make plans is to respond with "Can I think about it?" if I'm not immediately sure whether I want to say yes or no.

This gives me the opportunity to consider whether or not I genuinely want to participate, and it allows me to confidently decide whether my answer will be a yes or a no.

I no longer make up excuses, and I don't feel the need to provide reasons either, because I am entitled to prioritise myself, just as you are.

Next time you find yourself tempted to come up with a little white lie when asked to do something or be part of something that you're unsure about, try saying "Can I think about it and come back to you?". This will give you the permission to say no if that's truly the answer you would prefer to give.

Learn all about prioritising yourself and setting your own boundaries in my 3 Day Mini Course: Understand And Reduce Anxiety for £27!